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Posts tagged ‘work’

Lacking Inspiration

Lacking inspiration as a writer, stinks! This is something like day 3 of my dry spell. I end up thinking of these great ideas for blog posts but in the end, when I start writing, they materialize into nothing.

I’ve been stuck. I really like the people I work with, but I am not too fond of the money I am making. I’m used to making so much more and doing considerably less. Now, after the latest situation with my manager it just makes me realize that I really am not a person who can function in the white collar world (especially not at the bottom of the totem pole) and I’m not even in a white collar job. I hate politics, I hate “bosses”, I hate protocol and orders and working hard only to be shafted by the people who don’t work as hard but make love to assholes with some serious tongue. It hit me in the head today. Kissing ass is the way to get ahead and I’m way too prideful to kiss ass. I just cant do it! It’s not in me to do so. I feel defeated at the fact that I even acknowledge this. But then it leads me to thinking.

What if I look at this all wrong? What if I am just like the punk rock kid who dresses a certain way to say “Fuck the system”? I show off this display, stand on my ground, and show that I will never fall to “the man”. But who is the man? And exactly how am I affecting this motherfucker by standing here “on my own two”? I watched a movie in class one day, SLC Punk, awesome movie. One of the things that really hit me in this comedy gone…somewhere…was that the best way to fuck up the system is from within. So do I conform? Am I forced to conform?

Bobby Womack expressed that sometimes you’ve got to bring ass to get ass. Does that mean you have to kiss ass to get ass? I want ass!! Well, I want the power to control me. I don’t want to control anyone else. I want so bad to finally become an¬†entrepreneur¬†but I have no guidance and far too many ideas, all with no kind of backing. So what do I do now?

I do the only thing I can: I write. I write it out until there’s nothing left. But along this road I really hope I’m able to find some help, guidance, or simply get lucky along the way. I need this, I really do. I need to be able to feel again. I need to be able to have the sky be my platform, not my limit. I need to see beyond the ordinary but it’s so fucking difficult right now. I need a sign. I need new friends. New associations may lead to new avenues, but I’m so consumed with work and school that they own me. I have no time for myself. What do I do now? Huh? What now?

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Be Easy

Yesterday, I rocked my job environment with one simple word: no! What the feck am I talking about?

I always bust ass when I’m at work. I hardly ever take my 15 minute breaks, I never ever ever take my lunch breaks, and if I’m in early and shit needs to get done I just do it. No questions asked!

Yesterday however was a special occasion. I got lunch on the way there, ate and decided to wander the floor for the last 15 minutes before I hit the clock. So, I’m in mid-convo with a co-worker when my manager (who is basically the stores homegrown terrorist) rudely interrupts me.

You want to come on early? There’s a lot to do.

Really lady?! I fuckin slave in here! So I replied,

No thanks, I’m good.

The look on her face was that of an inmate right before he attacks. My assistant manager, so blown away by my sheer disregard for status is smiling so hard I’m surprised her face stayed together. So the manager asks me if I was talking to her or my co-worker. My response, “No, I was talking to you. I just ate, so I’m going to let my food settle a bit before I slave”. She was not expecting that! I never kissed her ass, never fucking will. There will be no moisture on your ass from this ninja, lady.

About 15 minutes later she pages me to the office. Oh baby, am I the wrong one to try to play boss with!! So I roll in there showing just how serious I take her life.

Oye como va, chiquitita?

She begins to tell me that she’s noticed an attitude change. So I’m like with WHAT?! My work?! She says no. So now I get where she’s coming from. You want me to kiss your ass. No no, fuck that! Now my attitude kicks in as I explain to her that I bust my ass in there every day. She acknowledges such. I then ask what’s the issue with me saying no then? It’s 15 minutes I took to myself. She had no answer other than,

Well, it’s an open door policy. I just want to make sure you don’t have any issues or anything. If you have a problem with anything, just let me know.

I laughed, wanting so bad to say something stupid, but I remained calm and explained to her that if I had any major issues, I’m the last person she would have to worry about because I love to express how I really feel. It was epic. It was the first time in recent history that I kept my cool when I wanted to kick on the charm (fiery attitude I possess).

When everyone heard the story, they just laughed and said I was crazy. But my favorite line of the day came from my assistant manager as she smiled at me like a kid in a candy store and said,

Damn boy, you got some cohones on you.

Yes, yes I do. I don’t kiss ass. I show it what I’m made of. Don’t fuck with me. I do what I do and you love it.

Be easy.

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