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Posts tagged ‘funny’

Be Easy

Yesterday, I rocked my job environment with one simple word: no! What the feck am I talking about?

I always bust ass when I’m at work. I hardly ever take my 15 minute breaks, I never ever ever take my lunch breaks, and if I’m in early and shit needs to get done I just do it. No questions asked!

Yesterday however was a special occasion. I got lunch on the way there, ate and decided to wander the floor for the last 15 minutes before I hit the clock. So, I’m in mid-convo with a co-worker when my manager (who is basically the stores homegrown terrorist) rudely interrupts me.

You want to come on early? There’s a lot to do.

Really lady?! I fuckin slave in here! So I replied,

No thanks, I’m good.

The look on her face was that of an inmate right before he attacks. My assistant manager, so blown away by my sheer disregard for status is smiling so hard I’m surprised her face stayed together. So the manager asks me if I was talking to her or my co-worker. My response, “No, I was talking to you. I just ate, so I’m going to let my food settle a bit before I slave”. She was not expecting that! I never kissed her ass, never fucking will. There will be no moisture on your ass from this ninja, lady.

About 15 minutes later she pages me to the office. Oh baby, am I the wrong one to try to play boss with!! So I roll in there showing just how serious I take her life.

Oye como va, chiquitita?

She begins to tell me that she’s noticed an attitude change. So I’m like with WHAT?! My work?! She says no. So now I get where she’s coming from. You want me to kiss your ass. No no, fuck that! Now my attitude kicks in as I explain to her that I bust my ass in there every day. She acknowledges such. I then ask what’s the issue with me saying no then? It’s 15 minutes I took to myself. She had no answer other than,

Well, it’s an open door policy. I just want to make sure you don’t have any issues or anything. If you have a problem with anything, just let me know.

I laughed, wanting so bad to say something stupid, but I remained calm and explained to her that if I had any major issues, I’m the last person she would have to worry about because I love to express how I really feel. It was epic. It was the first time in recent history that I kept my cool when I wanted to kick on the charm (fiery attitude I possess).

When everyone heard the story, they just laughed and said I was crazy. But my favorite line of the day came from my assistant manager as she smiled at me like a kid in a candy store and said,

Damn boy, you got some cohones on you.

Yes, yes I do. I don’t kiss ass. I show it what I’m made of. Don’t fuck with me. I do what I do and you love it.

Be easy.

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