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F5 and Reset My Life

This is probably the 12th blog I have started since 2006. My life is filled with confusion. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, but what else is new. I find writing to be therapeutic and I think it’s about time I take an entirely (not so entire) new perspective and approach to things. I’m too nice. I’m too mean. I’m too… not me right now. I hate feeling off balance. It’s one of those days where I have so much work to be done but I’m about as motivated as M.C. Hammer is to battle Chris Brown (not motivated AT ALL).

I broke up with my girlfriend of 8 months. It hurts like all hell to know what I chose to do hurts her. I feel the difference and to have to adjust. I got to be honest, it’s not something I wanted to do but there is a certain line that one has to draw when you realize you’re losing yourself in something else, in someone else. The stress, the fights, the differences, the deterioration, it’s just not for me right now. Perhaps that makes me weak? Maybe I am. I just don’t see things the same way. I love her. She probably thinks I hate her. We have two classes together and it is now the most awkward thing since Pee Wee Herman got caught masturbating. We both make cognitive efforts to not even look at each other. I feel so stupid doing so. My boy Lenny would ask me, simply,

What are you a girl or something?

Lol that’s our favorite line from the movie Due Date which, by the way, is funny as all hell. I loved it! Anyway, this, this is where I vent. You know, do the Mase thing, breathe, stretch, shake, let it go. Will it work? Maybe. Will it get me into trouble? Most likely. But hey, what’s the point of being alive if all you do is play it safe? I see no point in safety. That’s why I don’t watch football. All the pads make me laugh. That, my dear reader, is an absolute lie. I think that kind of safety is necessary, but I’d rather fly through life with no rules than a game plan.

No more poetry (if you followed the old blog) will be going up, at least not for quite some time. I think I need to channel my energy elsewhere. This will be no holding back. This post is one of strange sorts because I always feel weird about introductory things. I need to get back to writing papers since I’m working from 2:30 to 10:30 today. Peace out until later. Hopefully, this project is a success. Thanks all!

If you want to know more about me, check out the About page.

Feel my mood right now. This is all I’ve played for the past 3 days. Vibe with me.


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